Life as I see it...in my own words!!!

Recently, the father of one of my kids passed away. He left this earth a few days ago. I am beyond . Not only for her; for myself as well. I'm hurt for myself. This is the 2nd man that fathered a child of mine that has left this earth. Not as a fault of mine but he has left this earth unexpectly just as the other one has. There is a sickening spot at the pit of my stomach that hurts. It is hard to be able function properly and throughly. We were not the best of friends however we were not mortal enemies. I just feel empty and incomplete. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? All I know is that I am mourning the loss of a guy who wasn't perfect. I was so angry with him about our daughter who is 14 yrs old and who is growing up quickly. In being angry  with him about being a better parent to our daughter; something caught my attention. It said "Be kind, everybody is fighting a battle that others have no idea about" And with that being said, that made me ...

I don't like drama, I despise it. Often people create drama just  to get attention. People like to go through the motions because they are not getting enough attention. However you don't have to do anything, always simply be the kinda  person that you can respect. You have to make sure you never ever get those kinda people any attention. It is often easier said than done. You just have to remember to not give the irrelevant people no attention. You can not allow them to thrive off of any kinda nonsense. They simply aren't worth the drama. It's like they are leeches, trying to suck all of the blood out of someone, trying to suck the life and energy of of a person or a situation. The BS does not need to be tolerated.

Irrelevant people simply get ignored. " BobbyBasqui" This was a tweet that I read once that made so much since to me. People always do a lot of huffing and puffing to gain notice but what is the point in even paying attention to those people who act a fool for people to pay attention to the bullshit that they do? If you don't mean that much to me? Why be bothered? I have tons of people that I know that act up or trip simply to get recognition. That shit bothers me. I'm wondering? Is that the only was you can get people to notice your non existent ass? Let that shit go. Nobody care, nobody wants to hear any bullshit. Go on with your life. Because I'm going on with mine.  FOH

Thanksgiving Day, we are almost all together. My daughter Maijah, is over Rob's house. He is keeping and eye on her for me for now. She chose to not come with us going over my mom's house. There is always some sort of twisted history in dealing with my family. Our Thanksgiving day was normal for the most. However; I missed my daughter Maijah, I needed her to be here with us. She won't with us and I missed her.

It's been min since I've seen you but when I see that face that takes me back to when our days were filled with everything that we wanted. We had a connection that nobody could break and when I felt your embrace got me in the best way. That smile, that laugh is always something. Always kept my mood up no matter what I was going thru. I always remember not wanting to answer my phone when I was mad b'cause you always made me smile or laugh. The connection between us keeps us close. Our connection can't be explained or understood by anyone but us. We are who we are, kindred spirits us two.

I have for too long been overly sensitive abt my feelings. People have often too made me feel uncomfortable. I know what some of my issues are. I often am lazy, I often get offended by the words that people say to me. I honestly hide behind the fact that I have Multiple Sclerosis. Apparently that is what happens when you have Mutiple Sclerosis. However I always feel that I can do everything. I never take into account that I can't do everything. My having Multiple Sclerosis let's me know when my body is tired. When I fall or trip that let's me know that I need to slow down. I feel that I can take on the world, without rest. I have struggled with my diagnosis since way before I was diagnosed. I felt lazy, I was so unorganized, I couldn't remember anything. I never expected pity party however; I expected for people to at least be sensitive to my diagnosis. But no they haven't been. I allowed that to upset me, I allowed that to almost break me. However no matter what my...