Life as I see it...in my own words!!!

          Here we go. Life always has a way of throwing me curve balls damn near every day. Right now, my life is so weird. I always kept to myself, I never allow no one in to my inner circle, however, now for the first time in years I have let my guard down. Sometimes I feel that I am making a good decision, making adult decisions and being the best me that I can be. My life is always so complicated. I deserve to be happy, I feel that I am making a good decision. I felt good about meeting him. 

For the last few day's I have bn struggling.  Struggling with the fact that I am lonely.  Almost, to tears, I feel so horribly bad. Being in the mental state that I am in. I struggle,  at times no matter what is going,  there is always a thought in the back of my mind. There are sometimes when the emptiness fills my head and I wanna just be in the company of others. It is sickining and I feel miserable about life. The other day my son told me to "Get out" of his room at Williams house,  only because he was on the phone with a girl.  I laughed it off and thought "Really?" and simply walked away and found me something else to do. He is growing up and getting older,  he isn't the same kid that he used to be. I ended up spending the rest of the night in the room that he shares with William.  He is growing up,  I have to let him be himself and not interfere as much.  I need to remember that "Yes" I am his mother,  I will always be here f...

How can you feel the way that you feel? Can you not see the hurt that you put out? Can you not see the hurt that you dish out? How is it so easy to maneuver through life so carelessly. Been this way for a min, I am not heartless, I just use my heart less now. I smile because I am happy with me. Learning how to take my cuts and scraps because that is the way that is the way life happens for me. No more bein sad for something that will never happen for me. And just being happy with myself is more satisfying than me attempting to be somebody or someone that I'm not. My real life me is so much better.  I had fo get to a place where I don't care if anyone else loved me. There are times that people attempt to throw me off so that I don't fully love me but I have to just brush that shit off but I love the person that I have became. Life is life and love is love.

 I am on the internet and I see something that hurts my soul. One of the founding members of one of my favorite groups, A Tribe Called Quest has lost his life. Instantaneously, I am more than hurt, almost sickened to my stomach. A Tribe Called Quest is one of my favorite groups in the world. I am a die hard hip hop fan,   helped me solidify my love for hip hop. I really started digging hip hop at an early age. To be able to hear those raps and zone out was something that I did often to escape theand the drama of my life. Hip Hop has to be in my DNA because of my undying love for it. #ATCQ has always made thee best music ever, in my eyes. Originally #ATCQ began with 4 members. Q Tip, Phife Dawg, Ali Muhammed and Jarobi White who left after the first album in 1991. Each member stood out on his own rightfully so. Yet the shortest member of the group had such a enormous presence in the group among his peers. Malik {Phife Dawg} Taylor always stood out ...