Life as I see it...in my own words!!!

How can you feel the way that you feel? Can you not see the hurt that you put out? Can you not see the hurt that you dish out? How is it so easy to maneuver through life so carelessly. Been this way for a min, I am not heartless, I just use my heart less now. I smile because I am happy with me. Learning how to take my cuts and scraps because that is the way that is the way life happens for me. No more bein sad for something that will never happen for me. And just being happy with myself is more satisfying than me attempting to be somebody or someone that I'm not. My real life me is so much better.  I had fo get to a place where I don't care if anyone else loved me. There are times that people attempt to throw me off so that I don't fully love me but I have to just brush that shit off but I love the person that I have became. Life is life and love is love.

Recently, the father of one of my kids passed away. He left this earth a few days ago. I am beyond . Not only for her; for myself as well. I'm hurt for myself. This is the 2nd man that fathered a child of mine that has left this earth. Not as a fault of mine but he has left this earth unexpectly just as the other one has. There is a sickening spot at the pit of my stomach that hurts. It is hard to be able function properly and throughly. We were not the best of friends however we were not mortal enemies. I just feel empty and incomplete. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? All I know is that I am mourning the loss of a guy who wasn't perfect. I was so angry with him about our daughter who is 14 yrs old and who is growing up quickly. In being angry  with him about being a better parent to our daughter; something caught my attention. It said "Be kind, everybody is fighting a battle that others have no idea about" And with that being said, that made me ...