Life as I see it...in my own words!!!

Today went really well. We just hung out and played all day. Of course we took tons of pictures. We enjoyed our day today. My mom and Kay  didn't come her had to get her car fixed today. I loved Quiantae a lot.  So today we say with Kate during our visit. We just chilled all day. First he sat on the tablet playing.  Then I just sat with him enjoying our time together. I sometimes feel bad because I am broke and I didn't really have many snacks to share. But I just gave him whateva I had to share. And he is okay with whatever I had. He's okay with sharing with me.  We played a lot. We always enjoy each other's company as we always do. Today was a good day. We always have a good time together. He always makes my heart smile. Derrick is weird at times because he always thinks that Q doesn't talk but he always does. He isn't too quiet to me, he always talks to me. He talks a lot to me. We are in a good place.  But we are still going through s...

      So I turned 40 this yr right? My children are getting older and I Lstarting thinking more freely. Growing up and getting older I felt my body would always be in great shape right? Without working out everyday, doing what it would take to make sure that I stayed in tip top shape.     With my body and this mess that they call #MS, I always thought thought that everything would be how it was supposed to be. Or at least what I was raised to believe it should have been. Back in the days, I didn't believe in having any kid of work on your body only because I never thought that any procedures were ever possible.       And since I looked it up, only because I wanted to know to see what was possible for me, just in case I felt the need to appease my curiosity, how much a procedure like that would cost and also how long the down time for it it would be.       I was able to see something because there were more options to ...

How can you feel the way that you feel? Can you not see the hurt that you put out? Can you not see the hurt that you dish out? How is it so easy to maneuver through life so carelessly. Been this way for a min, I am not heartless, I just use my heart less now. I smile because I am happy with me. Learning how to take my cuts and scraps because that is the way that is the way life happens for me. No more bein sad for something that will never happen for me. And just being happy with myself is more satisfying than me attempting to be somebody or someone that I'm not. My real life me is so much better.  I had fo get to a place where I don't care if anyone else loved me. There are times that people attempt to throw me off so that I don't fully love me but I have to just brush that shit off but I love the person that I have became. Life is life and love is love.

Thanksgiving Day, we are almost all together. My daughter Maijah, is over Rob's house. He is keeping and eye on her for me for now. She chose to not come with us going over my mom's house. There is always some sort of twisted history in dealing with my family. Our Thanksgiving day was normal for the most. However; I missed my daughter Maijah, I needed her to be here with us. She won't with us and I missed her.