Life as I see it...in my own words!!!

Irrelevant people simply get ignored. " BobbyBasqui" This was a tweet that I read once that made so much since to me. People always do a lot of huffing and puffing to gain notice but what is the point in even paying attention to those people who act a fool for people to pay attention to the bullshit that they do? If you don't mean that much to me? Why be bothered? I have tons of people that I know that act up or trip simply to get recognition. That shit bothers me. I'm wondering? Is that the only was you can get people to notice your non existent ass? Let that shit go. Nobody care, nobody wants to hear any bullshit. Go on with your life. Because I'm going on with mine.  FOH

Thanksgiving Day, we are almost all together. My daughter Maijah, is over Rob's house. He is keeping and eye on her for me for now. She chose to not come with us going over my mom's house. There is always some sort of twisted history in dealing with my family. Our Thanksgiving day was normal for the most. However; I missed my daughter Maijah, I needed her to be here with us. She won't with us and I missed her.

It's been min since I've seen you but when I see that face that takes me back to when our days were filled with everything that we wanted. We had a connection that nobody could break and when I felt your embrace got me in the best way. That smile, that laugh is always something. Always kept my mood up no matter what I was going thru. I always remember not wanting to answer my phone when I was mad b'cause you always made me smile or laugh. The connection between us keeps us close. Our connection can't be explained or understood by anyone but us. We are who we are, kindred spirits us two.

I have for too long been overly sensitive abt my feelings. People have often too made me feel uncomfortable. I know what some of my issues are. I often am lazy, I often get offended by the words that people say to me. I honestly hide behind the fact that I have Multiple Sclerosis. Apparently that is what happens when you have Mutiple Sclerosis. However I always feel that I can do everything. I never take into account that I can't do everything. My having Multiple Sclerosis let's me know when my body is tired. When I fall or trip that let's me know that I need to slow down. I feel that I can take on the world, without rest. I have struggled with my diagnosis since way before I was diagnosed. I felt lazy, I was so unorganized, I couldn't remember anything. I never expected pity party however; I expected for people to at least be sensitive to my diagnosis. But no they haven't been. I allowed that to upset me, I allowed that to almost break me. However no matter what my...

Mack Wilds - 1 Minute In London | #illSclusive Video ‹

                                                                                                                                                "Lions are not concerned with the opinion of sheep. " and other peoples opinions of me isn't any of my concern. I can't care about how other people feel about me. I am not supposed to know how they feel. That isn't for me to find out or for me to know.

I have learned to do what I am comfortable with. Do what makes me happy and not focus on everybody else and their dreams. Ain't nobody gone live their life for you so why focus on somebody else's happiness. You have a dream? Well do what you wanna do. I can certainly guaranteed that everybody won't be happy. Somebody will complain about something. Focus on yourself and you'll be happier, I can promise that.

So here I am again. Trying to figure out how to get everybody to like me. But why do that? You were not put on this earth for everybody to like you and if they don't "Oh well." You weren't designed to have the whole world like you. There isn't a single person out here that has the admiration of all. It's hard but I'm learnin how to just be okay with having a few enemies. I was upset but for what? Who are they? And why are they so important? Smh they not. End of fuckin story!! Everybody didn't like God, even Jesus had people that critiqued him. So I'm not worried. Not a fuckin kid so opinion is mute and void. I will continue to write and post what I want. Be mad but keep it movin!!

Things don't always go as planned but you can't stop living life. You can't hate life because it isn't all that you want it to be. You've got to get out there, you have to pursue all that you want. You can't live life wishing for better and not pursue it. Those who go after what they want gets everything that belongs to them. People that spend time waiting, usually get nothing but to wait. Procrastination is what they call it. Waiting for anything is like waiting on forever, you'll get nothing.

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I am writing, well I am really wanting to know. What is the color of your skin? Sitting here watching a television show and an interesting topic was brought up. The color of the young pregnant mothers skin and why she chose to have a child with someone outside of her race? Well she is an black woman and she felt the need for her to have a child with a young man who was outside of her race. He is a filipino guy I believe. She figured that if she was going to have a baby, she would make sure that her baby would have more opportunities than she had. She never felt pretty enough because of her dark skin. That really struck a cord with me as well. Being a darker skinned female, I can remember all to well all of the criticism that I faced growing up and always wishing to be a few shades lighter than I was born with. Being one of the darkest people that I knew and always hearing the dreaded "You're cute to be black or you're cute to be dark" crappy reassuring all of the dar...

I am not in the same space that I was in 15-20 years ago. I have grown up and need better. I am different now I have children and I do not want my kids growin up and doin the same things that I did or experiencing the things that I experienced. I wll not apologize for how how I feel either.

Just sitting here thinkng about my life and how my life has changed. I am learning how to not regret nothing that I do. I am learning how to just live. I was always a people pleaser, I always wanted to make sure that everybody was happy, at least with my decisions. I have had to learn that everybody isn't goin to always be happy with me. I have come to terms with that. I used to always wonder why some people didn't like me but why should I care? That is that their problem not mine. I am in a different space in my life now and I just really don't care how others feel now. Well not as much as I used to. I am me. Love it or hate it. However I am loving the space that I am in. I live for me and me only.

My life I have always had a certain likeness for very attractive men. I am a sucker for a beautiful smile and a great body. One of my very favorite crushes since I first laid eyes on him is Mr Tremaine Aldon Neverson aka Trey Songz. The very first time I saw him was in a video and I couldn't believe it when I saw him. I said to myself "Damn he is fine!!" He was a cutie but young looking to me, I knew he was younger than I was because he had a baby face and he had a slight build. He had an amazing voice and hook, line and sinker I was a fan. Of course was always other singers and groups but he always stood out to me. My life was always so busy and I always had so much going on in my life being a mother, raising a family and all. That keeping tabs on Trey totally slipped my mind. But then I was watching BET and a video came on. I believe it was "Wonder Woman". I said to myself I really gotta let myself get back familiar with this guy here.  I love me a brown or c...

Loved this!!

I write because I hurt. I write to get all of this hurt out my heart. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I can't. I just need to get to have a voice. Sometimes the sadness creeps in and I want to cry but I can't. I try my best to control my emotions and it is hard. Sometimes all I can do is cry. Is that wrong to lose all self control? Is it bad to not be able to hold the sadness inside? Is it bad to verbalize it? Maybe maybe, I don't know yet. I will have to get back to you on that after I 'm done with my tears and giving myself a hug.