Life as I see it...in my own words!!!

 I am on the internet and I see something that hurts my soul. One of the founding members of one of my favorite groups, A Tribe Called Quest has lost his life. Instantaneously, I am more than hurt, almost sickened to my stomach. A Tribe Called Quest is one of my favorite groups in the world. I am a die hard hip hop fan,   helped me solidify my love for hip hop. I really started digging hip hop at an early age. To be able to hear those raps and zone out was something that I did often to escape theand the drama of my life. Hip Hop has to be in my DNA because of my undying love for it. #ATCQ has always made thee best music ever, in my eyes. Originally #ATCQ began with 4 members. Q Tip, Phife Dawg, Ali Muhammed and Jarobi White who left after the first album in 1991. Each member stood out on his own rightfully so. Yet the shortest member of the group had such a enormous presence in the group among his peers. Malik {Phife Dawg} Taylor always stood out ...

I want to remain celibate. I don't wanna be apart of any sexual acts. That won't serve any purpose for me. I am not in the mood for sex or any sexual acts for that matter. I can't find a guy who wants to be in a relationship with a woman who isn't giving up sex. Most guys are ready for anything. They are so ready to eat yo ass. Licking the booty hole, the coochie and all. Then are ready to kiss you straight in the mouth. I know that I am clean but seriously why would a guy be so ready to do all of that and he doesn't really know you? That is the way of the world. It is annoying and very irritating. I have to get back to being on my #TeamGod #TeamCelibate journey. I know that the good Lord has someone out here for me. I just have to be patient.

These days, the police are taking black lives at an alarming rate. And I am worried for the lives of all African Americans.

How can my life be so crazy? When did it end up so out of control? But I can't do anything but keep moving. My life isn't the way that I want it to be. But then again how do I want my life to be? Life is difficult at times but it is livable. I gotta keep moving. Gotta keep doing what I know to do. This life gets difficult at times but I gotta do what needs to be done.

ALBe Back - The ALBum - listen now | Audiomack  Check out this album. It features a song w/Mack Wilds "Follow Me".

Am I supposed to feel the same way? *shrugs* You disappear for a few weeks. No calls, no texts, no nothing. This let's me know that we won't be the same as we used to be. Honestly, we we're not the same a few years ago. I tried to play it off as long as I could. I am genuinely happy for you. You got exactly what you wanted. And as much as we talked about it, it didn't include me. It is a sad, sad conclusion that I bring myself to all the time. How can we have a life together bit don't include each other. I always thought that we would but it was never what I dreamed of. I am not happy with how things turned out. We were supposed to include each other when we made plans. I apologize for all of my actions that changed your way of thinking. I can admit I made the first mistake. By choosing the wrong person. So I can't blame you all I can do is accept everything that you do. I feel that there is nowhere for is to go from here. We can start over but how? We are hones...

Stop feeling like you have to have every bodies approval for everything. All of my life I thought that I knew what I wanted,  then God gave me another way of thinking and another way to do things. Being able to stay at home and be a parent is another way of doing things. And I have bn lacking and lazy. I have to get up and stop looking for support and simply support myself. I am at home to figure out I am supposed to support myself. God has definitely given me really supportive people who has always had my back. But I lean entirely too much on people when I need to lean on myself. I have always had great ideas. Now I need to combine my great ideas with a great work effort. I am a great writer. I need to publish my book and finish the other book that I have. I am starting this new blog and I am super excited about it. Everything is going to be fine, I just have to have more confidence in myself and believe that I will do all that I need to do. I will be writing stories, my own stori...