Life as I see it...in my own words!!!

I am writing, well I am really wanting to know. What is the color of your skin? Sitting here watching a television show and an interesting topic was brought up. The color of the young pregnant mothers skin and why she chose to have a child with someone outside of her race? Well she is an black woman and she felt the need for her to have a child with a young man who was outside of her race. He is a filipino guy I believe. She figured that if she was going to have a baby, she would make sure that her baby would have more opportunities than she had. She never felt pretty enough because of her dark skin. That really struck a cord with me as well. Being a darker skinned female, I can remember all to well all of the criticism that I faced growing up and always wishing to be a few shades lighter than I was born with. Being one of the darkest people that I knew and always hearing the dreaded "You're cute to be black or you're cute to be dark" crappy reassuring all of the dar...

I am not in the same space that I was in 15-20 years ago. I have grown up and need better. I am different now I have children and I do not want my kids growin up and doin the same things that I did or experiencing the things that I experienced. I wll not apologize for how how I feel either.

Just sitting here thinkng about my life and how my life has changed. I am learning how to not regret nothing that I do. I am learning how to just live. I was always a people pleaser, I always wanted to make sure that everybody was happy, at least with my decisions. I have had to learn that everybody isn't goin to always be happy with me. I have come to terms with that. I used to always wonder why some people didn't like me but why should I care? That is that their problem not mine. I am in a different space in my life now and I just really don't care how others feel now. Well not as much as I used to. I am me. Love it or hate it. However I am loving the space that I am in. I live for me and me only.

My life I have always had a certain likeness for very attractive men. I am a sucker for a beautiful smile and a great body. One of my very favorite crushes since I first laid eyes on him is Mr Tremaine Aldon Neverson aka Trey Songz. The very first time I saw him was in a video and I couldn't believe it when I saw him. I said to myself "Damn he is fine!!" He was a cutie but young looking to me, I knew he was younger than I was because he had a baby face and he had a slight build. He had an amazing voice and hook, line and sinker I was a fan. Of course was always other singers and groups but he always stood out to me. My life was always so busy and I always had so much going on in my life being a mother, raising a family and all. That keeping tabs on Trey totally slipped my mind. But then I was watching BET and a video came on. I believe it was "Wonder Woman". I said to myself I really gotta let myself get back familiar with this guy here.  I love me a brown or c...